❀ ❀ ❀
My dear child, you can scarcely conceive, much less form a just idea of the bitter pain, the amount of anguish expressed in the words: to be calumniated and held in contempt. You have as yet had nothing, or at least very little, to suffer from calumny and neglect. But what has not happened heretofore may happen at a subsequent period; hence it is well that you should be prepared to meet it, and should know what your duty would be under such circumstances.
In earlier days a singular custom prevailed in certain districts of Germany. Persons who had an evil tongue were compelled, as their punishment, to carry, suspended round their neck, a stone representing a human head. This stone was termed the clapper-stone, and such a one is still to be seen in Muehlhausen, one of the towns of Alsace. It bears the following inscription:
Why they call me clapper I cannot tell,
But the evil-speakers know me full well;
Who does not respect his neighbor’s renown,
Perforce must carry me all through the town.
It is to be wished that stones could be hung around the necks of all who slander us and speak evil of us! But there is a better, a more effectual method of silencing evil tongues. It consists in the observance of Our Lord’s command: “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” We ought to conduct ourselves, in regard to those who are our enemies, those who slander us, in such a manner as is consistent with loving our neighbor.
If you are slandered, that is, if sins and misdeeds which you have never committed are laid to your charge, it is permissible to defend yourself but you must do this with calmness and deliberation, after the example of Jesus. He, the divine Redeemer, said to the Pharisees: “Which of you shall convince Me of sin?” And when they hurled at Him a most horrible and unjust reproach: “Do we not say well that Thou hast a devil?” He defended Himself with all possible calmness and brevity: “I have not a devil; but I honor My Father, and you have dishonored Me.” In similar cases imitate this example; remember that your assertion of innocence will be all the more readily believed the calmer and more self-possessed you remain.
But what are you to do if your explanation is not listened to, or if you are not allowed to defend yourself? You must stifle all desire for revenge, and bear the injustice with patience, again following the example of Jesus. St. Peter exhorts us to act in this manner, when he writes: “That you should follow His steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in His mouth. Who when He was reviled did not revile: when He suffered, He threatened not; but delivered Himself to him that judged Him unjustly.” When Jesus Christ, the Holiest of the holy, allowed Himself to be abused and slandered, to be falsely accused of stirring up the people, to be led forth to die a death of shame upon the cross, what right have poor sinners like ourselves to lament and complain, to revile those who speak of us in terms which are the reverse of laudatory? Why should we heed the foolish chatter of the world when Our Master and Lord so completely despised it? Even the heathen sages of old considered it a mark of perfection to despise the world, and when men praised them they mistrusted their when men praised them they mistrusted their praise. When Phocian, the famous Greek orator, was loudly applauded on account of a speech which he had delivered, he is said to have exclaimed: “Tell me honestly, what stupid things have I said?”
Above all, lay well to heart that, however good and pious you may be, you will sometimes be spoken against, and have to bear the wounds inflicted by evil tongues. Calumny has been the means of casting some of the most virtuous of men into prison; men whose only crime was that they were superior to their fellows; for the best and noblest are ever the most persecuted. As the magnet attracts iron so does virtue draw forth he hatred of the wicked. Remember these lines:
If evil slander’s tongue unkind
Perchance disturb thy peace of mind—
Courage! console thee with the thought,
No rotten fruits by wasps are sought.
But whatever you do, do not take it into your head to try to please everybody. Almighty God Himself cannot please all. And do not expect much gratitude in return for the benefits you confer upon your fellow creatures. Those to whom we have shown the greatest kindness often turn against us most fiercely. Socrates, the heathen sage, had found this out. Upon one occasion, when he had received and read an abusive letter, he asked: “When did I confer a benefit upon this man?”
Yet why should we speak of the ancient heathen? Let us look once again at Our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ: How He was slandered and blasphemed, declared to be a Samaritan, possessed by the devil, and addicted to various vices! In like manner were the apostles slandered, the holy martyrs, as were St. Francis of Sales and St. Ignatius Loyola; so were, in a word, all who “lived godly in Christ Jesus.” Can we compare ourselves, in even the remotest degree, with these holy persons? And if we have not committed the sins of which we are accused, must we not own that we have only too richly deserved to be blamed in other respects?
If the evil which is said of us is true, we must make every effort to amend. Such is the advice St. Peter gives us: “Having your conversation good among the Gentiles: that whereas they speak against you as evil-doers, they may, by the good works which they shall behold in you, glorify God.” A wise man of olden days expressed himself after a similar fashion. When his disciples told him that something very bad had been said about him he replied: “Never mind; I will live in such a manner as to prevent people from believing the evil which my enemies impute to me.”
Therefore, the principal thing is to guard as far as possible against the fault which is imputed to us. In this way the slanders uttered against us will have the good effect of conducing to our improvement and perfection. And if the self-love innate in all men did not blind their eyes to so great an extent, they would clearly perceive that what appears to them as calumny is, at least in the majority of instances, not really such, but that they actually possess the faults which are laid to their charge.
I will give you one more piece of advice. See that you do not make mountains out of molehills! Do not allow the gossip which is circulating about you to disturb your serenity; do not be angry and annoyed by the chatter of evil tongues. On the contrary, the calmer you remain, the less you permit it to be observed that you know anything about this idle talk, the sooner will the evil speakers be silenced.
Yet another word! If you ever receive an anonymous letter throw it at once, unread, into the fire. Make it an invariable rule never, under any circumstances, to read a letter to which the writer has not signed his name. In such cases never indulge your curiosity; by so refraining you will spare yourself much worry, pain and vexation, and defeat the malicious purpose and diabolical pleasure of evil-minded schemers.
Remember the words of the pious author of the Imitation: “Take it not to heart if some people think ill of thee, and say of thee what thou art not willing to hear. He who neither seeketh eagerly to please, nor feareth to displease, shall enjoy much peace.”