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You know why marsh neighborhoods and large manufacturing towns are so unhealthy. The atmosphere is tainted by the noxious exhalations, by the fumes and smoke. Something similar may be said in regard to the moral atmosphere of the countless localities in which it is the custom to talk about one’s neighbors in a calumnious or uncharitable manner. He who abides there for a lengthened period gradually loses the health of his soul. Therefore it is necessary to quit this tainted air, namely, to refuse to listen to such conversation, and, as far as possible, to prevent it from being carried on. He who listens to it with pleasure falls into “the sin committed by hearing.”
An old gentleman once gave a young and inexperienced man the following sage advice: “If you hear any one speak evil of another, whether justly or unjustly, say to yourself: Am I that man’s judge? You know the misdeeds which through his frailty he has committed and you even try to find them out. How is it that you know nothing of his good deeds, of actions which are creditable to him? I know that I have deserved hell for my transgressions, and my own sins are quite enough for me without troubling myself about those of other persons.”
Truly does it behoove us to follow the counsel of this good old man, and oppose every kind of lying and evil-speaking. We shall not find it so difficult to do this; if only we have a good will and a spirit of charity we shall be assisted by divine grace. If we have a real love of our neighbor, we shall imitate the crafty fox, whose cunning always enables him somehow to devise a means of protecting his young when the hounds approach his lair. In order to protect your neighbor, you must place yourself in opposition to those, be they many or few, who slander him. But you will perhaps ask: “How am I to do this? I cannot venture thus to put myself forward and offend persons I am bound to treat in a polite and friendly fashion.” Hear how St. Chrysostom would reply to you: “A poor excuse! It brings about the damnation of many Christians. You are bound to show friendship and politeness to these slanderers? Well then, can you show them a greater kindness than by making them conscious of their sin, and exhorting them to do better in future?” Job was attached to his friends, but he knew that composedly to listen to their defamatory conversation would be wrong on his part, and therefore he rebuked them.
St. Augustine had an equal horror of slander; so great indeed was his aversion to it that be caused this inscription to be placed above his dinner table: “There is no room at this table for those who intend to speak evil of their neighbors.” Upon one occasion certain guests forgot to observe this rule of the house, and began to discuss some absent persons in too free a manner. The saint promptly remarked: “Either this inscription must be taken down, or else you must put an end to such conversation; if you do not heed my admonition I shall have to leave the room!”
St. John, patriarch of Alexandria, was of the same opinion. When he heard any one indulging in evil-speaking he gently admonished him, or else he turned the conversation into a different channel. If the person thus warned persisted in talking in the same objectionable manner he remained silent, but wrote down the name of the individual. As soon as he had taken his departure St. John would give orders that the evil-speaker was never again to be allowed to enter the house.
A word of serious reproof from the mouth of a child, or of a young girl, not infrequently puts a stop to conversation of a defamatory character. I found this out for myself before I was ten years old. I heard a neighbor abusing our parish priest, who was much beloved and universally esteemed. I coolly reproved the old woman, telling her how wrong it is to speak in that way of priests. She was quite confused at hearing such a remark from the mouth of a mere boy, and at once held her tongue.
There are, of course, circumstances in which Christian prudence forbids us to rebuke the slanderer, and it may be equally impossible to leave the company. In such cases the best plan is skillfully to endeavor to direct the conversation into another channel. The individual aimed at will probably notice the attempt, and not feel very well pleased; but this cannot be helped. If he thinks over the matter afterward he will, if he has any sense, see that he only got what he deserved, and will guard his tongue better in the future. Often a significant silence may be observed, in accordance with the exhortation of Scripture: “The north wind driveth away rain, as doth a sad countenance a backbiting tongue.”
Sometimes when we wish to break off the thread of an uncharitable conversation nothing suitable to our purpose may occur to our mind. Yet it is not necessary to break it off very cleverly; if the interruption serves to divert the attention of those present from their neighbor’s faults, that is quite enough.
The blessed Thomas More, Lord Chancellor of England, possessed this art in an eminent degree. When any one began to talk in an uncharitable manner in his presence he used to introduce an entirely different subject. For instance, he would say: “Have you seen the mansion which has lately been erected? Whatever your opinion may be, I think it is admirably planned, and the interior arrangements are extremely comfortable. The designer and builder must certainly be a master in his profession.” In this way he prevented a great deal of unkind talk.
Another excellent plan is to mention some good quality of the person who is being blamed. Even the very worst man has a good point in his character. Among all created beings there is only one which lacks every desirable trait, and that is the devil, an embodiment of all evil. Endeavor to place the conduct of your neighbor in the most favorable light by saying that perhaps he had no bad intention in what he did, or that he had done a great deal of good in another way, etc. If you cannot avoid listening to uncharitable conversation, you must at any rate suppress any feeling of pleasure which may arise in your heart. And you must be even more careful not to show any outward sign of taking pleasure in it. Bear in mind that all those who give rise to, or encourage, evil-speaking, by asking curious questions, or evincing approval of it, are in part responsible for it, and become partakers in the sin of others. St Bernard says that the devil sits upon the tongue of him who loves to speak against his neighbor, and in the ear of him who likes to listen to such conversation.
Would that you could behold the abode of suffering where souls are purified from the sins which as yet they have not expiated! Doubtless you would perceive that souls are, for the most part, detained there on account of sins of the tongue and of the ear for which they had not atoned. May the thought of purgatory aid you to avoid these sins.
Hate what is evil and do what is right;
Avoid all deceit and keep honor bright;
Love what is good and seek what is best,
Honest and truthful: thy life shall be blest.